im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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