he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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