please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Can you bring me the toilet please
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Randomize
