I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I just googled if crying burns calories
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
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