we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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