I met the friendliest cop last night
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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