i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
