I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I still have a little drunk in my system
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize