Sponge bath it is.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
