ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
