I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
