Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
