Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
whose parrot is this?
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
