When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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