Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I pour the whiskey from now on
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
