Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
