Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Sober January is a disaster.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
