Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
he thought i was a dude.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
