p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Randomize
