She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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