We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
