Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I'd cum for enchiladas.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
