easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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