I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Randomize
