I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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