Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
