He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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