Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
