Sponge bath it is.
literally had 100 drinks last night.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
