What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
