Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
