hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
