I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
