The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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