I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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