I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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