come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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