i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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