Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
