chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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