alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
‎"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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