Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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