I puked a lego.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I smell like Dick and happiness
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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