how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
my shit smells like andre
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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