i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Randomize
