Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
