You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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