It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
you never un-have a 4some
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
