U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
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