You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
