ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
